We've made it to the international girl's trip episode! We're a little more than halfway through this season (I hope) and the ladies are taking a trip to Mexico! Ramona is still fuming with Leah for behaving like Sonja does every other episode, Sonja is still drunk, Dorinda is nice again because Tinsley is gone, and Luann may or may not have stolen a wig. If this trip to Mexico is even half as crazy as their trip to Cartagena, I'll be left satisfied--unlike I was after my last sexual encounter. Let's jump in!
Luann arrives at the spa that agreed to help gift the women from the Fortune Society with a day of pampering. As she waits for the rest of the guests to arrive, she tries on a wig that's literally her exact same hairstyle but with bangs. Ramona walks in and say’s Luann looks like Katharine McPhee and Luann is so flattered she looks like she’s about to shove the wig in her purse later so she can show her hairstylist how to cut her hair from now on. I heard Ramona's back is still recovering from that reach, BTW.
Ramona reflects on her birthday with 50 of her closest acquaintances (because nobody has 50 fucking close friends) saying that it was the best night except for the part where Leah was provocatively dancing--which apparently is far worse than when blacked-out Sonja stood on an ottoman in the middle of the room and stomped all over a glass tray with open-toe heels.
Leah and Dorinda ride to the spa event together and discuss the previous night questioning why Leah was the only one blamed when Sonja acted like a literal frat star at Ramona's party. When they arrive, Sonja jumps back in horror when she registers the wig on Luann's head. Lol @ Sonja-- keeping everyone humble.
Ramona says hello to Dorinda but doesn't acknowledge Leah. Pulling Sonja aside, she expresses that she felt Sonja was acting too wild the other night and she could've blinded somebody if glass from the tray she was stomping on got into somebody's eye.
Sonja:
In the other room, Leah vents to Luann telling her that she feels uncomfortable with the way Ramona is acting like she doesn’t exist. Luann tries to help Leah and giver her advice. Instead of trying to ignore it for the day for the sake of keeping the peace, Leah storms over to Ramona and Sonja and literally rips Ramona a new asshole for being a fake bitch and then leaves.
After being torn to shreds, Ramona goes into the salon room and invades everyone’s personal space and pretends to be a pleasant human to people she would normally lock her doors and turn her back to. Dorinda comes in in an attempt to smooth things over, but Ramona can't be bothered to drop her act of being kind at the moment so she refuses to talk about the subject.
Oh btw, this entire time Luann hasn’t spent a single moment with the ladies from the Fortune Society that she brought to get makeovers, until they are all finished and are getting ready to leave. Luann finally comes in and makes herself present for the photo and thanks everyone for coming. At least the spa did a great job on all of them because Luann did literally nothing.
In the next scene, Sonja is arriving to her store space she's acquired for her clothing line. The space is very... orange and kind of gives me Sears vibes? But congrats to Sonja for finding a glorified storage unit for her merchandise!
The other women arrive so Sonja can show them around and also convince Ramona to make peace with Leah before they all go on an international trip together. Ramona apparently has a "three strikes and you're out" rule which must only apply to Leah because by that logic Ramona would’ve stopped being friends with all of these women years ago. Lest we forget these women are some of the sloppiest drunks on Bravo?
The day has come to travel to Cancun, Mexico. Leah and Ramona still haven’t said a word to each other and Luann’s vibrator goes off cause her briefcase to start buzzing at the airport. Lmfao she says it's the juicer she packed. Is that what old people call them? I guess if you think about it...it tracks! But next time just blame it on your electric toothbrush, Luann!!
The ladies arrive at Villa Casa Del Mar and Ramona disrespects the staff the moment she steps inside gawking at them and exclaiming there's “servants galore!” Fuck, Ramona is so insufferable. The rest of the ladies enter and take the cocktails that are waiting for them at the entrance before taking themselves on a tour of their villa.
As soon as she gets to the pool, Ramona attempts to get into a donut-hole floatie and immediately falls into the pool completely clothed. (Not sure that there’s ever been another outcome ever in the history of trying to get on a floatie from the side of the pool.) When she gets out, she and Sonja lay out in the lounge chairs nearby to talk about the drama going on and I swear to god, if Ramona says the phrase “my 50 closest girlfriends” again, I’m going to Van Gogh myself.
Lunch is served and all the women sit down to eat. Sonja is already browning out and points out that Ramona seemingly doesn’t have a vagina in the outfit she’s wearing and wonders how because she has the fattest pussy, ever. In fact, every guy she's slept with has told her so. Again, Sonja does a great job of humbling this group.
Nobody:
Sonja: I have a chubby pussy. After eating, the women gather around and Dorinda explains she came up with a game-show inspired trivia with questions about themselves to help them decide on the order of picking the rooms. Lmfao it kills me that Leah got second pick when she could never afford any of this and would probably be happy sleeping outside on one of the pool loungers. A win for the poors!
As everyone puts their things away, Dorinda and Leah sit outside. Leah says not only is she hurt by Ramona telling everyone that she showed her labia to 50 of Ramona’s closest acquaintances at her birthday party, but also because Ramona told the other women in the group about her bi-polar disorder and medication.
Now that Dorinda is being nice again, she tells Leah that she really cares for her and goes to talk to Ramona to convince her to apologize. I don’t know if I’ve ever hated Ramona so much before this episode but after watching this I’m like .2 seconds away from getting wild in her DM’s. Between the servants comment, slut shaming Leah, and spreading information about her mental health (true or not), R*mona needs a fucking time out.
While the ladies are getting ready for dinner, Dorinda lets Leah wear her cheetah print kaftan because she knows that if Leah dresses like she’s 60 that R*mona won’t think she looks like a slut. The rest of the women get ready and Sonja is incoherent and flailing around in her chair while one of the on-site employees is trying to do her hair in a small space with a hot tool.
Clearly R*mona feels like she hasn’t terrorized the staff enough today, so she goes into the kitchen while they’re trying to prepare dinner and literally as a white, American tells them how they should make their ceviche.
R*mona: In the Hamptons they make ceviche with Grapefruit :)
Chefs:
Finally, they all sit down for dinner omg and the chefs said they’re teaching them how to make ceviche. That had to be shade, right? God I hope it was. I love it. Sonja looks like a half-melted candle at this point in the night but remarkably manages to loudly gergle out if R*mona has spoken to Leah yet. Leah calmly explains why she’s upset with R*mona and the chef eavesdropping nearby gets the visual of a lifetime. Leah: You’re talking about my vagina to half the upper east side!
R*mona denies it saying she doesn't even like to say the word "vagina," which only shows the wild amount of bit of deep-rooted misogyny she deals with. Yikes. The last three minutes of the episode is literally all the women screaming at the table and calling each other crazy. Leah ends the episode with eloquence shouting, nobody saw her pussy that night because if they did they’d, remember it. Fucking iconic.
Alright! We made it! That's it for this week. We're left on a "to be continued..." as R*mona storms off from the dinner table and it appears things will only get worse before they get better. As Luann so beautifully sung it in 2010-- money can't buy you class, ladies and gents! Leave your thoughts and comments below and come back next week for more blacked-out blow ups from your favorite glamma's!
#RealHousewivesOfNewYorkCity #RealHousewivesofNewYork #RHONY #NewYorkHousewives #Luanne #CountessLuanne #Tinsley #Ramona #Leah #Sonja #SonjaMorgan #LuanneDeLesseps #RealityTV #Bravo #BravoNetork #TheRealityTeeHee #Dorinda #recap #popculture #fatpussy #NewYorkCity #CancunMexico #Mexico #girlstrip